Gorgeous one

Once you’ve decided there’s got to be more to this life than the linear, the routine, the ego, your natural instinct will be to go searching. 

And usually that means you go searching outside of yourself.

The thing is, once we’ve made the decision to go on the hunt, most of us don’t usually know what we’re searching for! We just have a feeling, an intuitive knowing, a sense that there’s more to this trip around the sun than we’ve been led to believe!

And so, once we’ve consciously decided we’re ready to dissolve those ingrained beliefs that are becoming scratchy and uncomfortable – because let’s face it, our Soul and unconscious have been sitting with that scratchy and uncomfortable for a very a long time! – we open our ears and eyes to our Soul and the tiny whispers it’s sending us – and we go looking. Searching. Trying to find anything that will put this puzzle of life together – and in turn remove that scratchy and uncomfortable! – in a way that brings back a sense of normality, comfort and connection to our lives.

Yes I’m talking about myself here. 

It was at the ripe old age of 36 that I started to feel squeezed out of the comfort of my current life into an as-yet-unknown new one. Of course I had no idea what my journey was going to entail – the actual depth, length and breadth of it; what I needed to pack; whether I needed a machete, a packet of matches or my sexiest pair of high heels! 

{I think we all know the answer to that last one!}

All I knew in my heart was that the ground below me was starting to shift and it felt damn uncomfortable.

And yet, even though I reluctantly committed to the journey, machete and matches in hand, I knew in my heart that what I saw outside and around me was my Source showing me the truth of what was happening deep inside.

If I’d been truthful with myself I’d felt rumblings, that shift, for many, many years. But like all good women who toe the line / do what’s expected of them / follow blindly societies expectations of a good wife and mother, I pushed those whispers and rumblings as far down as I could, piling dirt and goodness knows what else on top of them so as to not hear the tiny, beautiful voice trying to be heard.

Please tell me you can relate?

At first, when we start on the “I didn’t ask for this!” Quest, we tend to look externally – and that’s where the Healer Hunter comes out in full force! Goodness knows I was a Healer Hunter for a lot longer than I should have been (I am a Scorpio / fixed astrology sign after all!) but eventually it becomes extremely clear that going outside of ourselves to heal our inner world is never going to make one damn bit of difference!

I know you know this. 

I know you’ve heard it before. 

But I also know how hard it can be to take the first tentative steps toward trusting yourself enough to put the external on pause and turn inward.

Because what you’re really saying at this stage – to yourself, if no one else – is that you’re ready to connect with what brought you into this lifetime in the first place.

Source.

Your Source.

The third and final piece of our Your Inner Room puzzle.

Self and Space being the other two.

Picture the connection between these three – Self / Space / Source – like a Venn diagram, with three intertwined circles, each holding, supporting, connecting with each other, with that beautiful, gentle, miraculous sweet spot in the middle where grace, love, truth and desire for You, your Life, your Self, your Soul, Your Inner Room resides.

Source is an interesting concept, don’t you think? In my culture, my upbringing, Source was found in church on Sundays, with God looking down upon high, his message being delivered by the local minister. Other than saying grace at dinner during the week, and Religious Education classes at school, there was no other way.

Yet even as I was growing up I knew what we received on Sundays on those ridiculously uncomfortable church pews was only one type of connection to Source. Deep down I knew there were others that weren’t being shared with me. Why? Because I was communing with a different version of Source on an almost daily basis!

Your Source may or may not be Christianity or God. And in fact all types of Source may have you running for the hills! But perhaps your Source is Mother Earth, the Universe, Buddha, yoga, the Kabbalah, Judaism, Sikhism. Or perhaps you’re a witch or druid, a Shaman, a weaver of magic in your own unique way. 

The thing is this. 

When you’re on Your Inner Room journey there is no judgement as to what Source you truly connect to. What’s important is that you’re connect to your Source in a way that’s truthful, soulful, beautiful, expansive to you, with the ripple effect of it benefiting those you love and the community at large in an all encompassing way. 

Racism, violence, criticism, judgement, or any other expression of hatred or discontent toward someone else’s belief or Source is not allowed in this space. I won’t stand for it. If you’re able to offer yourself respect and kindness on Your Inner Room journey, you can do it for others as well.

If we think of those three intertwined circles again, of Self, Space and Source, we find that if we remove one of them the other three somehow seem disjointed, disconnected, not whole. A shrivelled up part of the whole that looks, feels, is wounded, and needs tending.

So this means that Source – your Source – is a key element of Your Inner Room journey.

So today take a moment to ask yourself

1. What feelings come up when I think of Source? 
2. What kind of reaction does my body have to it all?
3. What Source do I feel fully heard, received and held by?
4. How do I connect to Source on a regular basis to support my Your Inner Room journey?

As I’ve already said, it actually doesn’t matter what your Source is as your traverse Your Inner Room journey. What matters is that you’re here, on the path, walking along side me, sharing the experience together.

One thing I know for sure is that the connection between the three elements of Self, Space and Source is so intertwined on the Your Inner Room journey that if one shrivels, looses lustre, or lacks direction, all the others are affected as well. We’ll be diving into that even more next time.

With deep love to you on your journey,

Helen xx

Helen xx

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